Match.com does it again

We had all this funny shit about the Oscars but the ratings have spoken and there's a new reality TV show in Tinsel Town. You know, that depressing show that's always on when you get home. Kinda makes you miss the golden age of back-to-back Will and Grace while your roommate throws back Smirnoff Ice after Smirnoff Ice.

I always try to lighten the mood by saying things like, "Hey Ashcroft, you gonna do the dishes or what?" or, "Yo Condoleza, dude! Try a coaster next time, my grandfather gave me that coffee table."

And you thought things were dire when W stole the election. Fuckin' Cancers (anything that's not nailed down). The alternative? Al Gore. Astrologers planetwide shook in their cosmic boots with the prospect of a Conservative/kinda-middle-of-the-road-asshole-you-go-to-the-ballgame-with-and-doesn't-say-a-fucking-word-all-day-kinda-dumb-boring-ass liberal dude/Aries resting his finger on that shiny red button.

Saddam Hussein is a Taurus, the dictator sign. Hitler and Stalin shared the same yeah-I'll-back-down-when-you-seperate-my-brain-stem-from-my-spinal-chord sign. Coincidence? Probably. Saddam's Jupiter is in Capricorn, which means good fortune in career, even if you've chosen to be a homicidal dictator. Hey, it's a job.

Bush vs. Hussein. Cancer vs. Taurus. Stalemate defined. Taurus digs in and never gives an inch. Cancer gives an inch then takes the whole fucking yardstick. Both signs are extremely passionate--the last thing you want from two megalomaniacs. Crazy? These guys are nuts!

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The Republican Guard meets the Republican 'tard.

"Fuckin' frat boys ... always startin' shit."

An exhausted Saddam retires to his bunker.


"I wish I wasn't such a fuckin' dick."

"Yeah, I'll put $20 on Lost Bandit in the 3rd and $40 on Iraq in the 'Shock and Hee Haw' War!"

 

 

 
   
   
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